Something has happened. Something very bad. Something you never thought would happen to you.

Where do you go with the pain, the fear, the anger, the betrayal, the sense of loss. How do you answer that most elusive of questions - why me?

You've got a choice to make. You can wallow in anger or grief, or seek to find dignity and meaning in your situation. Choosing how to respond to whatever life throws your way is the biggest challenge you'll ever face.

First things first.

Before you read further, head to your kitchen sink. Get a class of water. Drink ... and breathe. Take a very deep breath.

Seriously. You've been thrust onto a battlefield not of your making. You feel besieged. Take another sip of that water. Breathe. You can gird for battle tomorrow.

Stay focused on your breathing. It may take awhile. If you're a crier, now would be a good time. Let it out. If you want to rage, there are few choice Yiddish curses available. Take another sip. Are you still breathing?

Regardless of what lies ahead, calm breathing and water will help stabilize you so you can begin to address your situation - tomorrow.

Inhale - ru. Exhale - ach.

Ruach is the Hebrew word for the force of breath in the extreme experiences of life, judgment, and death. Its extended meanings are wind and spirit. Ruach relates breath to one's will and purpose. Breath is the inner force of a person, the essential nature of God.

Breathe.