I had a number of side effects of maintenance chemo, including heart failure and convulsions. The day after I was stabilized, my husband announced he no longer wanted to be married. I had to leave the marital home quickly.

Feeling alone, scared, and sick, without access to the religious books that were my usual solace, I did just what you are doing now: I Googled.

“God, now what am I supposed to do?" “God I know You have a plan, and I would really appreciate it if You would share it with me.”

You might think that a Rabbi could do a better job of finding God. But when you're in a state of absolute panic, sometimes knowledge, wisdom, even faith, vanish - replaced by a Google search.

In my darkest hour, I discovered even the Internet provided no answers. I searched in vain with my fingers, desperately seeking something I could connect to.

I knew God was there, just as God is there for you. Only I couldn't sense God's presence.

Then I remembered the Exodus story, when the Israelites left Egypt. Moses knew what was happening and trusted in God, but the rest hadn't had his experience. They only knew they were leaving their homes and the only lives they had known for a trek through the wilderness. Facing terror, and horror, forced to abandon her home with no control over her circumstances, Miriam, nonetheless, grabbed her tambourine and walked into the unknown.

A short while later, with the Egyptian army pursuing her, Miriam entered the dark, towering waters of the Sea still clutching that tambourine, that symbol of hope and joy. She believed grit, determination and something greater than herself might part the waves. Guided by faith, she chose a life she couldn't begin to imagine but might be able to celebrate, so she brought her tambourine along so she could dance on the other side.

It is my honor and privilege to join you here, on the Internet, at your own darkest hour, to help you find your own tambourine.

Together, we can walk away from despair and into the a future beyond the "before" and "after" of trauma. With God, there is always a transcendent beyond.

For a very powerful healing experience, please join us 6:30 p.m. Friday, Nov. 18 at Bayou Manor, 4141 S. Braeswood as I conduct an ecumenical Shabbat Healing Service. This event is for anyone in need of healing of any sort, as well as family and friends. We welcome you with open hearts and look forward to meeting with you. Download brochure (PDF)